Saturday, June 07, 2003

New and improved! Quotes for all...

  • Me: Three bints and something on a dog show up. Jefe: All I can think is 'What? Lesbian circus?"
  • Jefe: He has a ponytail of bright copper hair down his back. Phloxin: What colour is the rest of his hair? Jefe (bewilderedly): Bright copper. Me: No, it is not an extension. Phloxin: Girl, ju need to take thet back to Kay-Mart!
  • Jefe: My robes had a colour, but you took that away.
  • Phloxin: I say something smarmy and unpleasant under my breath.
  • Me: Do you know what the paediatric dose of a magic mushroom is? Angel: One. Haven't you ever played Mario?
  • Lily: Do you know anything that would help them? (Them being a bunch of plague-ridden children) Angel: I pull out a handful of mushrooms. "Help them how?"
  • Me: You find nothing suspicious. Angel: Except the party.
  • Phloxin: Several dogs with crossbows just shot the hell out of me. Angel: Don't look at me. I haven't spiked her water in days.
  • Angel: And we have frozen phalluses.
  • Me: So we have Suné backed into a corner in terror. Eric: More like a groundhog. James (excitedly): I can speak with burrowing animals!
  • James: Somebody put sand in my cum!
  • Phloxin (flipping through a second-edition Monstrous): I forgot how cute their elemental pictures were. "Look at me, look at me! Grr!
  • Jefe: Kobold...looks like Splinter gone wrong.
  • Jefe: Splinter's like a level-18 nink-muncher...err...ninkja...fuck! Lily: Ninja-fuck? Phloxin (in a Splinter voice): You make a funny! Ha! Ha!
  • Me: What actually happened? Jefe: I think the gnome has just been flunk. Phloxin (excitedly): Gnome Flinger!
  • Jefe: The monk will not evade. I attempt to catch the gnome.
  • Jefe: When you're sitting there with the rope, looking like you're going to whack off or something... Phloxin: Floss?!?
  • Phloxin: I relate this in my own way...we play Charades. Me: Sounds like...cunt. Phloxin: Sydane! Sydane! Angel: You want to go back in the hole, don't you?
  • Phloxin: Mind flayer...looks like something from a Shriners convention. Angel: Augh, Shriners with tentacles! It's a hentai Shriner... Phloxin: I knew there was something wrong with them.
  • Angel: I roll a bong into the room, wait an hour, and then throw one pack of Pop-Tarts just in front of the door.
  • Me: I crit Bri. (rolling) Two damage. Angel: He critted you in the kneecap. Lily: Ow.
  • Me: Eric is the second letter of Jeff's name, so he doesn't get a turn.
  • Angel: You've been shot, fallen down the hole, and generally beaten up on. Phloxin: And now I've been infected with some bloody disease, but we don't know that yet. Lily: You're Rasputin!
  • Jefe: A little lesbian moment.
  • Me: Specially made for prisons: gnome on a rope.
  • Jefe: I will give them a confused, reassuring smile.
  • Me: Your sister's on the ground again. A zombie slammed her. Angel: I didn't think she was that desperate.
  • Angel: What's back there? Me: Oh, some dire weasels, some rats... Phloxin: Eww, they're not buggering the weasels again... I suppose this one makes more sense if you were there for the one-night RP where I actually did run the party into a group of drunken kobolds buggering giant weasels. It's sort of been a theme now.
  • Jefe (On Phloxin throwing a book at him): Ow! Phloxin: I'm sorry! Jefe: That's OK. You didn't know I had an ingrown toe (A long pause ensues) nail. Me: Jeff has a vagina on his foot! Jefe: Foot Fetish!
  • Me: Does anyone remember what I named the lord of this town? Everyone: Slut, Whore, Pimp . .etc. Phloxin: I'm sure it was something gay. Me: No, that was the lord of the other town!
  • Angel: What is the Spanish plague? Phloxin: Charro!
  • Bri (swallowing and holding up a finger): Okay, now you can say something funny.
  • Phloxin (singing): My beholder has a first name...it's R-A-L-P-H... Me (singing): My beholder has a second name...it's N-A-D-E-R...
  • Me (much later, singing) My beholder . . Dang it!

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