Tuesday's Entry...

Tuesday, up to the OSCE section when I stopped updating: Woke up this morning and felt like puréed shit. I don't know why I persist in my delusion that I can sleep off my migraines. So I got up, threw up, and realised I had no Benadryl with me, which I should have tried for last night. Fortunately, Diana had some that she never takes, and I am now feeling alive, if sleepy. Called Angel last night. He dropped his being social to talk to me, which made an immediate and undeniable improvement - in my mood and my headache. I was able to sleep, although not long enough. I don't think I'll be getting enough sleep here. Today : 7 stations to go through, each one to teach us a new skill for our use in rounds. Lumbar puncture first, using little rubber babies with saline hoses. Find the posterior superior iliac spin e, go straight across, and stick. On ten tries, I'm batting 0.500 or so... I hope real lumbar punctures go a little better. I think I feel what I'm looking for, but I'm not sure. Maybe I should get a needle and stab tubing for a while to practise. I'm scared of that one, and reqs say I have to do one observation only. But I want to be able to do it. I want to be a competent medical student, and a good one. Is that so much to ask? Session 2 was writing prescriptions, which we've been over several times before in class. I nearly fell asleep there, as the Benadryl whacked me upside the head. then written and verbal orders - the part of medical school that really scares me. I need to look up a good card for doing an H&P with, or my nerves will kill me. If I hear someone say ''competency'' one more time, I think I'll scream. We keep hearing all about the competency-based curriculum. Which in its little-tin-god form is cool, but in its implementation is just bizarre. I don't even remember what the competencies are , but we have to pass them all. Silly school. Tired. Bored. Want to go home. They say we'll be out about 3:30, which puts me home by dinner. I can't wait. I miss my Angel. I miss my house. I don't like these cold and uncomfortable rooms, the endless repetition of advice and instructions. My brain is saturated, my mind is full. I can't learn any more. After lunch: OSCE prep, EKGs, and suturing - with two hands, even! OSCE session: met Amir (sp?), who's from Iran but lived in LA originally. Made some small talk and was proud of myself for not feeling too awkward. More will come...