D&D Quotes, 07 February 2003

• Lily: Do I know about women? Me: Want to know them better? Lily: I have...nothing decent to say.
• GM: Get your angst on, girl. We're about ready.
• DM: To the Outer Planes? Short of a god, there's not much way... Jeff: I need to take "open portal," that's what I need. Me: I need to take "schmooze god". GM (making shoulder rolls): Hey, baby... Me: Open your portal for me...
• GM: ...the planar garage-door opener of wickedness...
• Angel: We take our horses... GM: Which are alive....(meaningful look) Take a note.
• GM: You see something...large and brown. Angel: It's a shit-dragon.
• Bri: A mime is a terrible thing to waste.... Dash: We already wasted a few. Why not another?
• Me: Will you please refrain from saying witty things while I'm rolling dice? Angel: Yeah. No quips during combat.
• GM: It giggles at you. Me: Fuck you. Fucking shit-dragons.
• GM: It giggles (clapping his hands) Oooh! Bri: Great. It's flaming.
• Jefe: You're obviously worthy of having a song written about you. You're very large and scaly.
• Angel: Well, what do you need done? GM (as a dragon): Well, my nails, for one. Me: Oh, my god. It's a fag-dragon.
• GM: What'll you give me? Me (indicating Lily): You can have the elf. Angel: We're a -party- of elves.
• GM: He stops at you. "What've you got there?" I look up from the computer with a startled expression. GM: He's detecting magic. Me: Oh, whew.
• Me: All I want in life is to fuck one person! Jefe: I've had that feeling myself.
• Me: I'm going to take a swing at it, just on principle. GM: You hack at dragon flesh. It's dead already. Me: That's okay. I feel better.
• GM: There's one blue tile. Me (to Angel): Push on it. Angel (to me): You. Me: Okay. I push on it. GM: Nothing happens. Me: See? Nothing happened. Pansy-ass bitch.
• Jefe: Is that undead? Angel: Not yet.
• Me: She's an elf. She's not inhuman. Angel: Yes, she is.
• Me: I have two masterwork +1 Kamas... Angel: And I have a +1 semicolon.
• Bri: How do you say no to that? Jefe: No.
• Me: It's a drow! With wings, for her protection.
• Me: Eric, I'm out of drink. GM: What? I'm trying to kill you at the moment.
• Jefe (to Lily): What's your deity again? Lily (to Jefe): Drink! Me: Bacchus, apparently.
• Me: One +1 flaming rapier. Angel: Yeth. GM: I want to kill thomebody.
• GM: You see a bricked-up wall. Angel: How well-bricked?
• Me: Drow chick is getting the shit kicked out of her? GM: Yep. Me: Good. Teach her some humility.
• Jefe (muffled): I now have dice in my mouth, so if you don't want to catch my germs, don't use these dice. (spits, rollls) Woohoo!