Lifted from class notes:

• "If you get any more comatose, I'll have to do an autopsy on you for the class."
• "What is a baby? One big head."
• "Here's a guy who's eighty-nine years old, they want to keep him in the hospital for three days. Do you know what's going to happen? He's going to get sick."
• "Iron deficiency anaemia. Finally, a disease." Page five of the notes, an hour of lecture after we started the unit.
• "They've got everything in those choker [vitamin] pills. Serum rhubarb, porcelain..."
• "Curved nails. But we here in the medical community call it koilonychia, so our patients don't get insulted."
• (Singing and dancing): "Infectious...Aaaaagent man!"
• "Now that...is one big cell. I mean that cell's going to sneak out of the body and attack Cleveland."
• "Clostridium Welchii. That's the stuff they put in grape juice." (A note: Clostridium is the group of bacteria that contains C. botulinum (botulism), C. tetanii (tetanus), and C. perfringens (gangrene).)
• "Transcoblamin I and III...they have no useful function in the body..."
• "There have been repeated attempts to make me a yuppie..."
• "And I look at Michael Jackson...and I think, 'My God, he's trying to imitate a scleroderma death mask'!" (This is probably only funny to us med students. We were literally falling over laughing.)

Two pages to go and I'll be all caught up on notes, can do lab work tomorrow!