Quotes, 24 January

• GM: I should give you a bonus to AC for the rivets on your nipples. Bri: Don't piss me off, I'll run at you full-speed.
• Bri: He's going to be a bard. Angel: We have a nance!
• Dash: Because you have a thing for drow boys. Completely platonically, of course.
• GM: Don't cast Ray of Frost on elves. Those nipples are deadly.
• Me: I'm outfitting the boy. Properly. Angel: If you start picking up levels of cleric, I'm going to be worried.
• Angel: Yes. I'm making confession. Of a drow priestess in training. Dash: Forgive me, Father, for I have fucked every man in existence. GM: When you're done, he goes to have a cigarette, then comes back...
• GM (to Bri): Hey, glittertits! Bri: I'm going to have to go look that up in the Tolkien dictionary online. Dash: I seriously doubt 'tit' has been translated into Elvish.
• Jeff: Hi! What are you doing on the surface? Me: Buying clothes.
• Me: Would it make you feel better if I were trying to kill you?
• Angel: Frank's Emporium of Expensive Crap. GM: Wow. It's Pier One.
• Dash: Well, if you're going to call her 'Glittertits', I think she can call your NPC's 'Atrocious'.
• Me, gesturing: She's 'Glittertits', you're 'Notits'.
• Bri: I've been wounded by an asterisk!
• Dash: I ask the two rangers - You are both elves, are you not? GM: No, actually, he's a human. Dash: Oh, well, forget him.
• James: Would any of my L-- GM: No.
• Me: What are these? Coked-up gas station attendants? GM: Funny you should mention gas...they're actually ghasts. It's a ghast station...get it?
• Insert far too many "ghast" puns for me to be willing to replicate.
• Bri: I'm going to kill someone, and it's not going to be who I'm aiming for.
• GM: Do more than four points of damage. Dash (rolling dice): Nope, two. GM: Awww.... Dash: Look, I hit something. Work with me.
• James: Every now and then I fly off. Bri: I'll be nice and not reach for my bow. Dash: Pull!
• GM: You hear rustling in the trees. James: I look up. What does it look like? Me: Leafy.
• GM: It's a plus-one, flaming rapier. Angel: Yeth. GM: Why was I expecting that?
• James: I yell 'Hi'. Bri: You're such a cheerful little daemon.
• GM: You can, you're a second level bard. Dash: No, I'm a first-level bard. GM: You're second-level now. Dash: Oh. I wish someone would've told me. Bri: Guess what? GM: You feel spiffier. And nancier.
• Bri: I finger my short sword. Dash: I know you might be out in the woods all alone, but using the short sword might be a bit extreme.
• Me: Seventeen on the move silently. GM: You're a breeze. James: I'm only hitting thirteen. GM: You're a clunky breeze.
• Me: I listen for mimes. GM (rolling dice): You hear one.