Stream-of-consciousness

Plans changed for this afternoon. Apparently my Lily was going to go down and pick up Ryk before hitting the mall with me or something. I'm not quite sure how things were going to go - I only knew she was going to go get him when I paged him asking if he'd seen her, at 1:30, and he said she was going to go take a shower and get him. Discussion ensued. Much discussion. Plans shifted - I was going to go with her to get him, and we'd go to the mall after. At a little before 3, she paged me to tell me she had to talk to Jeff a bit and finish getting ready, that it might be a little bit, but she'd be over to rescue me from the interminable boredom in which I'd spent the day, since I didn't want to go anywhere - hoping that she'd be over before the 2 or 3 at which I said we'd meet for the mall. It's now 5 PM. My original plans had been to be done shopping and heading home sometime in the next hour, and then to make dinner. My revised plans had us heading to the mall sometime in the next hour, so as not to be going at 8 PM again. Nobody's heard from her since a little before 3. Ryk says he called and left a message; I've been avoiding it, because I feel all stalker-ly leaving repeated messages on the machine. Half of me is frustrated and annoyed because all the plans I'd made for the day got switched around and changed, because if I hadn't asked Asmo she would've just gone down to get him and been an hour or more late for our shopping date. The other half of me is worried sick about her, and I'm not far from getting my car and going down to her and Jeff's apartment to make sure she's still there talking to him, and not lying bleeding in the road somewhere. I keep telling myself I should be used to her constant lateness by now, that it's nothing personal that she always seems to be late or cancel or just outright miss plans with me. I keep telling myself that there's not much I could have done today besides run a few errands, that it's not like I'm terribly inconvenienced. But the fact remains that I've been waiting on her pleasure for the last three hours, and I don't know how much longer I'm going to continue to wait without any word at all from her, and I'm frustrated and worried.