Tonight's quotes: 15 August 2003

• Me: I leave you to begin your stalking toward the ruins. Phloxin and Angel: We stalk. Stalk stalk stalk.
• Angel: We're stalking. We stalk in style.
• Ryken: No fish porn.
• Angel: Whereas my god just tells me to suck it up... Me: No, actually, Selanie's the one sucking it up. Lily: A lot.
• Phloxin: I pick it. Angel: I choose you... Phloxin: I choose you, pickatchu!
• Ryken: Why bother with finding the key when you can just unhinge the door?
• Phloxin (studying her character sheet): Where's my Search? Angel: I don't know. Are they alphabetical? Phloxin: Yes. Shut up.
• Lily (mournfully): Ohhh, I'm somebody's bitch!
• Phloxin: I Ghost Sound some porn music!
• Me: It sounds like it might be the wizard. Angel (a la "Existential Blues"): The Wizard? Phloxin (singing): We're off to slay the wizard...
• Ryken: What's on the other side of the door? Angel (indicating Lily): Her character, getting dominated, I think. Ryken: I hope she's wearing leather.
• Me: Any time you put your penis in someone's mouth, I think you're relinquishing control to them.
• Angel (upon bursting in on the sorceror getting a blowjob): Do we get a surprise round? Ryken: Hell yeah!
• James: I only did one point of damage. Phloxin: You bruised a pubic hair!
• Me: Everyone take note: Cure moderate wounds smells like banana cream pie.
• Angel (to Selanie, currently naked): Are you cold? Ryken: You could probably tell.
• Ryken: Apparently, also the mute paladin.
• Me: When did this become porno night? Ryken: You started it.
• Ryken (on having the party described to him): So it's a wacked-out wet dream. Angel: Yeah, you have twins, a midget, and the hot chick. James: Where does the midget fit in? Ryken: I said wacked-out.
• Phloxin: We're human. Of course our boobs are bigger.
• Me: Those aren't squirrels. Those are mobile genital warts.
• Phloxin: I make my brother scream all the time.
• Angel: It's that whole gangpile thing. Me: Dog pile. Gang bang.
• Me: There's a puppy-dog range and there's a lesbian range. Lily: Yeah, somewhere in between there. Angel: So she's not grabbing my ass... Phloxin: But she's not sniffing it, either.
• Angel: Is there a convenient campsite that we can avoid?
• Me: Is anybody undead?
• Ryken: Does anything look threatening? The fork skittering across the floor...? Me: Floating in midair, actually. Ryken: Threateningly? Me: Prongs first.
• Ryken: Normally you don't fight these, they're neutral. Me: Yes, but now it's neutral cranky.
• Ryken: You know, I'd care but this isn't my campaign.
• Me: There's a branch off to the left. Lily: Is there a door? Me: No. Lily: Yay!
• Angel: Four hit points? Phloxin: Four. Angel (making the ghetto sign): She's about to step in front of you. And represent.
• Ryken: I am not an XP bonus!
• Angel: Okay, from now on we don't turn left.
• Me: The ghoul attacking Phloxin... Phloxin: I thought I dropped that one. Me: Oh, yeah. Lies there dead.
• Me: You may horf if you choose. Phloxin: I do not choose.
• Lily: You know what? If you jump into the fireball, you die. So don't do it.
• Ryken: I was like...what's this hard object under my hand? Jefe: Randomly beat...fondle...ehh, whatever.
• Ryken: Actually, Sailor Moon wrapped in chains might be cool.
• Ryken: All right, I need a hose and a golf ball.