The list: Quotes from RPness.

• Jefe: Hey, glittertits. Want to rub my crescent moon?
• Jefe, to GM: Make up something that we were doing, while the rest of the party was out and about. GM: The moon elf and the sun elf were off making an eclipse...if you know what I mean.
• Me: Can I be a Wearer of Purple who wears black?
• GM: Oh! Bri! Mount! (Beat.) Mount, Bri. Bri: Woohoo!
• Angel: She will nance another day. But she will nance damn fast. GM: Supernance!
• GM: You're really spiff, suddenly. Bri: Do my sparkles shine more? GM: Yeah. You gain a point in sparkleness.
• Me: I need to come up with a way to spend a couple of points. Angel: Profession: Man-whore
• Jefe: I came up with an anthem for the drow: "Kill kill, hate hate, murder murder, mutilate." GM: You so get nance points for that.
• Jefe: Divine mounts are difficult to change the alignment of. Usually the god says "That's my pony you messin' with, bitch..."
• GM: You could turn her evil. Make her glitter black. Jefe: Yeah, she begins to glow in black light now.
• Jefe: A melancholy, moody deity... Me: Okay, I just heard melancholy booty deity.
• Angel: You want me to - AHH! THAT'S HOT! (Beat.) Um, okay, no, it's just mildly warm.
• Jefe: You know, for being a god of dead things, he just doesn't look....deathly.
• Angel: Why does a god only have a +4 sword? Jefe: +4 Ghost touch, holy, keen undead-bane bastard sword. Angel: Oh, that's why it's only +4.
• Me: Okay, go over there, pull down your pants and grab your ankles. Jefe: We'll show you atonement.
• GM: You are hayled! And he hits you on the forehead, and falls over. Praise KAY-vis!
• GM: Ugh. Freaky naked bust. Angel: Wiggle the mouse, it'll go away. James: I think he already wiggled the mouse.
• James: I wait for an altar to be available.... Angel: I'd like to schedule a homicide tonight... GM: They have an open spot between four and five o'clock tonight. Don't go more than fifteen minutes over, there are a lot of sacrifices waiting tonight.
• GM: Oh, by Lloth's eighth leg... Me (gesturing): Pop. Seventh, now.
• GM: You find yourself in a misty grey swirly place. Me: Me? GM: No, James. Me: Then stop looking at me!
• Me: I'm never going to be a fighter again. There's too much math.
• Me: I strip his body of everything he owns. Including his foreskin.
• Angel: I didn't know I held that much of your attention. Bri (from the sidelines): Lucky you. Me (in character): Lucky you. Bri: Plagiaristic bitch!
• Me: I'm going to take my large shield, my haversack, my bag of holding, and my newly-discarded dignity and go back to my room. Jefe: Who discarded your dignity? Angel: He came to me looking for help, and said thank you. He's all pansy now. Me: I just wanted to know who was trying to kill me....
• GM: And there's a little signature on the small of your back, with a date: "Lloth was here." And a spider print.
• Jefe: I was cooler than you...for the one sesion I wasn't here for.
• GM: And now the dragon comes out and kills you. Me: I eat breakfast.
• Bri (considering James): If he flies high enough, that might be a challenging shot.
• Angel: Daemon....not-a-daemon. Daemon....not-a-daemon....
• GM: ...and he has a +2 nancing bastard sword. Me (writing): A +2.... GM: Nancing bastard sword. Me: Riiiight.
• Angel: What if I want a nancing bitch-sword?
• Me: I make less conversation with her than usual. Angel: How can you say negative words?
• GM: And the brown dragon hisses, and goes "grr, grr, grr...."
• Jefe: The elves' dice...suck ass tonight.
• Angel (to dice): I hate you. I hate you. You blow. Large. Goats. Jefe: He didn't make it, by the way.
• GM: Are you going to have your horse do something? You know...it can go (making hand gestures) "hoof, hoof, bite..."
• Jefe: Unless I'm shooting into melee.... Me: It's large enough that if you shoot at its ass, you won't risk hitting us... James: Oooh, hole in one!
• Angel: How about you go underground, and come back up, and we'll start this fight over?
• Jefe: Okay, this whole bow thing sucks. The fighters are just killing us for damage. I mean they're fighters, so I suppose it makes sense, but... Me (as Angel heals his character up to half hit points): Think of the good side. You aren't getting your ass nailed to the ground, either.
• Angel: Shit. I get nailed to the ground. Jefe: We're about to have a dead cleric. Angel: Mostly dead.
• GM: You are goosed for points.
• GM: It (the dragon) looks really really bad. It looks so bad, in fact, that I wish its turn were next, because it would run away.
• Jefe: I suppose I could claim the kill.... GM (adopting a foppish posture): I got it....
• James: Can I suck the blood out of the dragon heart? GM: Sure. Angel: She's not watching him.... Me: Me either, because I so don't need this shit.
• James: Go on, I'll catch up later. Me: Just got to finish unzipping my pants... James: No, he is not going to go that far. Angel: Just going to take the dragon's schlong... Me: Do dragons have foreskins?
• Jefe: Why is it that when I approach an woman's breasts, my intelligence drops by five or six?
• James: Who needs intelligence when your penis is hard?
• Jefe: No, most animals just have a penis that pops out when it's needed....
• Jefe: It's a ring of Michael Flately...
• Me: Remember, it's ten sessions per level. GM: Ewww, fuck that.
• Me (typing quotes): Glow, not blow. Jefe: She does that in black light too...
• Jefe: You know, I've noticed that you have to work really hard to rack yourself really hard.