Moving tip #19: Resist urge to pop bubble wrap before packing fragile objects

...I kid you not, saw it on a moving truck next door. Almost died, so funny! Today has been a lazy sort of day, after picking Dad up from the Ford dealership up north, where he deposited Paul's car to be repaired in multiple ways. At 10 AM. Note that if I hadn't literally passed out in the first 10 minutes of xXx last night, there would be no way I'd have stayed conscious after getting home. As it was, I did. Last night was exhausting. So much so that I fell asleep on Angel's lap. So much for Quality Time. But I think I'm starting to catch up on sleep finally. Today, especially, as I did nothing at all until 4:00, when we went out to play laser tag. And discovered that the first available game was at 7:15. So we bought $10 worth of tokens and then spent them. And I got my name on sixth place on the high-scoring list on Area 51! Go me! And then had positively delicious Mexican at Cebollas, which means 'onions', and came back in time for roleplaying. We've now watched The Matrix and Tomb Raider, and I managed to pop The Care Bears Movie in before anyone stopped me. It's becoming all about mocking the movie. Some gems all began with "Yes, and Secret Bear used to be Bondage Bear until they decided not to explain that." Most of them will make more sense if you've seen the movie (out on DVD, with the original mono soundtrack...

• "Wow, it's Voyeur Bear."
• "And that one's Auto-erotic Bear."
• "Crackhead bear!"
• "So where's Larry Bear, Curly Bear, and Moe Bear?" "We don't need no mo'e bear..."
• "You know, if you didn't make your Caring Meter with only 8 points, it wouldn't drop so fast."
• "I wonder if the Care Bears are the religious right's answer to the Smurfs?"
• "Why is there a Grumpy Bear?" "Because you have to show all of your feelings, even the bad ones..." "So where's Homicidal Bear?"
• "What about Horny Bear?" "He's over in the corner, schmoozing Bashful Bear."
• "Oh, no, people stopped caring!" "And then the movie just lost all point because the director stopped caring..."
• "Great, we have Hydroplaning Bear now." "What's next?" "Underwater Basket-Weaving Bear."
• "You're ruining my grumpy image with this movie. Stop it."
• "Is that rock a penis? It looks like a penis!"
• "He's not Grumpy Bear, he's Cynical Bear." "Bitter Bear!"
• "Oops, I was almost cheerful there." "Must stay in role!" "Yes, but he's a Care Bear, so he can't be particularly evil or anything." "No, Sadism Bear is locked away in the closet with Homoerotic Bear." "And Masochist Bear."
• "It's a good thing they have these bears around to recap what's going on all the time. Otherwise we might forget. Since we're all three."
• "Oooh, Hermaphrodite Bear."
• "Note: Braveheart lion, not Smartheart."
• "Look! It's Convenient-to-the-Plot Bear!" "Plot Whore Bear strikes again..."
• "Oooh, mana bears! Tap them for a counterspell!"
• "...I just got my ass grabbed by proxy..."
• "Bad Hair Bear."
• "It's the Care Bears Rap. You have to have 'Fro Bear to go with the rap."
• "For some reason, that bear reminds me of Don King."
• "It's Cheap Thrills Bear!"
• "Brown-nose Bear."
• "Have we had Redundancy Bear again?"
• (watching the ruined midway sign, in unison): "Flash." "They had to label the lightning."
• "Paranoid-delusional Bear." "No, that's Getting-Misfortune Bear."
• "Can I be Suicide Bomber Bear?"
• "Someone spell 'Magician' for me?" "No, not like that" (on the screen: 'great magicininan')
• "I know why he looks evil - he doesn't blink!"
• "What, is this the public service announcement: if random strangers are chasing little kids, you should run like hell?" "No, it's the Andrew Lloyd Webber moment..."
• "He has Attention Deficit Disorder, see?" "He also has Intelligence Deficit Disorder."
• "...he's going to get sued by Libel Bear and Slander Bear." "After he spends some time in Anti-Care-Bear-Defamation-Therapy."
• "It's Fuck it All Bear!" "Robin Williams' Best Friend Bear!"
• (Movie): The spirit's power is too strong! "Yeah, it beat up a bunch of stuffed bears." "Fatalist bear: Naaah, we're fucked."
• (Movie): Care Bears... "Pee!"
• (Movie): Where are you hiding the boy and girl? "In my pants!" "They don't have pants. Just some of them have...rain slickers." "And pockets."
• "Emphysema Bear."
• "Look, it's Locksmith Bear!"
• "Thank goodness we had the narrator to tell us that, because otherwise we would never have known who won."
• "The great Ffiucinni?"
• "And now, the Care Bear Council, where we vote one bear out of Care-A-Lot..."
• "Look, Lion Bear has babies in his lap. He's secretly Pedophile Bear!"
• "It was Icepick Bear!"
• "...Water Sports Bear..."

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